Friday, March 25, 2022

Why I Named Her Khayla

It's been a while since I last wrote about my firstborn daughter, Khayla. She was born on our fourth wedding anniversary, a year after our devastating miscarriage. When she was born, I was overflowed with joy that I remember until today.

From the get-go, she was a perfectly contented child.

She hardly cried or fuss.

She was a joy to bring on my countless travels be it for personal and for business trips because she just settled down and slept throughout the journey.

She was a happy baby and toddler, easy with her smiles.

She has a good nature and nothing ever gets to her.

She is the total opposite of me.

I fret. I get anxious. I worry incessantly.

I am emotional and easily get agitated at the slightest thing.

And people. Being in people industry, I've seen the best and the worst in people. And I get wary of people's intentions.

I always choose to believe the worst first, until the person is deemed worthy of my trust.

When my daughter came along, I wished my child would inherit only the beautiful traits in us both.

That she embodies everything beautiful in the world.

And we named her Khayla, which carries the meaning 'beautiful'. 

And just like a prayer fulfilled, she grew up to be beautiful.

Beautiful in nature. Beautiful on the inside. In my eyes, she is beautiful inside out.

I remember when I was late to fetch her from school instead of getting upset, she chose to laugh it off. When I asked why she laughed, she said this.

'I saw someone happy, and I'm happy.' She only focused on everything good.

And when I chose to dwell on being miserable on the last day before my husband had to fly back to KL and leave us (when we were on a long-distance marriage), Khayla opted to savour all the happy moments right up to the time she had to wave her dad goodbye. She was sad for a moment and then she cheered up 'because daddy will be back again'.

When my husband moved back to KL after a year of trying to get a job in Sarawak, and I cried in the car after sending him off to the airport, Khayla consoled me and made me all smiles again.

'Mommy, please stop crying or you will drive in zig-zag because you can't see through your tears.'

When her sister had an accident in the kitchen and came running towards me with blood trailing behind her, screaming in pain, I panicked and cried.

It was Khayla who put her hand on mine and calmed me down.

It's ok mommy, let's go to the hospital. Everything will be ok.'

Her teachers had nothing but praise for her. They told me she was always the first to offer help.

When she was in Year 3, she was given an award for being the most helpful student.

To me, that was the proudest moment I had as a mom.

Earlier. this week, she was supposed to have Zoom discussion with a classmate to discuss on their assignment.

She arranged for the meeting, sent the meeting invitation link and waited patiently for her friend to join.

Her friend did not join the first night.

The next day, her friend told her she was busy doing something else when they had actually planned the meeting together.

What did my Khayla do?

She smiled and accepted the explanation without a trace of anger. Let's have another meeting tonight, she told her friend.

The same thing happened. She was left waiting alone.

I was upset on Khayla's behalf (as if I was the one who was betrayed). What now? I demanded. Why couldn't she inform you that she couldn't join? Yet this friend was online.

Khayla smiled and said, maybe she couldn't join. It's ok, I will do my part first and share with her tomorrow.

No bitterness. No disappointment. She chose to think the good side of her friend.

This is my Khayla.

She accepts and have faith in people.

She chooses to be happy and positive.

For that, she is beautiful to me.

I named her beautiful because she is beautiful.

She teaches me to focus on the good in people.

She teaches me that life is not to be wasted on negative emotions.

Thank you for setting a good example to Mommy.

I love you my daughter.

Forever, you will always be my joy and blessing.