Tuesday, December 15, 2009

May The Light Guides Us Until The End of Time - Happy 3rd Anniversary

Today our marriage turned 3 years old. 3 years old, people. 3 fantastic, bittersweet, honest-to-God years of being man and wife.

Some people said that at the current divorce rate, anyone who made it to the third year will have it easier to deal with in the years after. At the very beginning, we spent our time trying to fit square pegs into round holes. Rubbing at each other's differences, bickering and discovering the other side we never saw before. The first year we courted and being oh so lovey-dovey till everybody else vomited blood.

Past one year, we sort of got an idea or two of the stranger we vowed to live with to the end of our days. We learned to accept the differences, sometimes not graciously but sort of you know you gotta accept them anyway. The fuzzy film in front of our eyes was slowly eroding, revealing the real person we were.

Came second year, we settled into our routine. We could already read each other's minds, body language, likes and dislikes. Yet we were still lost at which direction we should point our relationship to - Romeo & Juliet? Edward & Bella? Or are we destined to be BFF (Best Friend Forever?) I see that we are leaning more towards BFF, darling. While it is still good, I wished we could hold on to that romantic stage. It has been a long time since I got a call from someone telling me how much he missed me.

My darling husband, I know living with me is not easy. If I had to live with myself, I would probably consider an annulment. But you stuck by, undaunted. You endured my disgruntled nature, moodiness, and even crazy working schedule. I read in a paper a few weeks ago, how a hubby divorced his wife because she's too busy working. And I thank God I had married you instead of that guy.

I know I am not a perfect wife. Do you still remember that regular dinner I cooked every night during the first few months of our marriage? If you don't, I don't blame you. But you can take my waist measurement as proof of that glorious happy time. Yes, I have not been cooking, let alone warming up anything on the stove since I started work in this new company. MIL is right - I am not feeding you well enough.

I know I like to complain a lot. I complained about my work when you're tired with yours. I complained about the lack of attention from you when I want you to work harder for our family's future. I cared more about my own hardships rather than yours.

My love, tonight I feel so small beside you. No, I'm not talking about size. I'm talking about emotion. Tonight I was ready to believe that you would not think much of our anniversary.

But I was so WRONG! Suddenly you handed me a small box. All of a sudden, I felt so embarrassed. So guilty. I thought I could not accept this gift, not when both of us could not afford such luxuries at this time of the year. Not when I believed that you were pressured into buying this for me so I would not sulk for being unappreciated.

To cut it short, you proved that you are a GREATER spouse than me. Not because of the gift you bought which made me cry, but because you truly believe that I am the LOVE of your life. That despite my weaknesses, you still see the goodness in me. My dear, I don't know why, but tonight I feel the need to shed tears. Of joy, of humility, of love and gratitude.

God, I want to be a good wife to this man. I want to be a good mother to his children. I want to be his best friend, his accomplice, his ally, his partner. For as long as You give me time, please grant my prayer.

Selamat Ulangtahun Perkahwinan, sayang. You are still, the man, the very best of man in my life. I love you.