Tuesday, January 15, 2008

To My Boss - In Case You're Reading This

Hi Boss,

The reason why I'm writing this post for you is because I do not know what else to do. August last year marked the third year we work together. I would like to say, it's been great, I am fortunate to have a boss like you - but I can't lie. The truth is. It's getting more stressful that every day I think about quitting.

Between you and Trump, I think I am more inclined to quit because of you.

This is in no way being insulting neither an attempt to condemn you as a person. I mean, as an individual, you are ok. You are not short-fused like Trump, you don't care that I'm constantly in late (and going back late as well), you approve my leave every time I request for it, you ask for our opinions. In short, you are an understanding and easy person to get along with.

But that's the problem. You're overdoing it, the fun stops there. You don't care. Period. Whether work gets done or not, you don't care. Whether we work right or not, you don't care. So much so that most of the time, both my assistant and I are forced to run around like headless chicks(en); having no idea whether we are doing things ok, are we doing fine or not, until someone scolds us for doing it wrongly. How are we supposed to know? Our boss doesn't care to let us know that it's wrong!

Most of the time, I find myself mentally and emotionally tired after coming back from work. Tired, because not only I have to carry my responsibility as an executive, I also have to make sure that my boss actually does his responsibilities. I have to think of what exactly you as a boss need to do, and then come round your room to check whether you have done it or are doing it.

'Have you done this? Has that been attended to? Have you called this person to inform him that?'

You always complain about how tedious it is to make sure that other departments do what they are supposed to do. You nag about it every month, 'Must we always remind them to update us about any news over there? I'm tired of being a nanny!' Yes, exactly. So am I, boss. I'm tired of being your nanny.

I tested my 'I'm-my-boss'-nanny' theory last couple of months. One day, I came into the office and instead of jotting down tasks that need to be accomplished on that day and coming in to see you to update about those tasks, I kept quiet and did my own personal business. Nothing work-related at all. Half a day passed. You did not step out of your room. One hour before office hour ended, not so much as a word about work came from you. Silent. Nada. I know you are not doing any work, because if you are, emails would be flooding in. Besides, I have taken over the job of setting the department's goals. At the end of the day, I couldn't help feeling extremely disappointed in you because you simply do not do anything unless I dictate what needs to be done.

That explains why after being away from the office for a month during my wedding, I came back only to wonder why did it feel as if work freeze while I was gone.

There's a reason why you are a boss, but lately, I constantly struggle to remember the reason because you are not acting like one. Ever since the last project where you were scolded gila2 by Trump, you become scared of being in-charge and happy to let other people take that role. I mean, if you are scared of handling another project under Trump, I can fully understand your reluctance. But, you can't be scared of being in-charge of the department! For heaven's sake, you are the boss! Even if you are scared, they pay you to be the boss!

Frankly, my assistant and I, we need proper guidance. We are here not just to do work, we want to learn and gain invaluable experiences. Some day we want to be in a higher position, and therefore we need to know how to make decisions like a boss, how to handle things like a boss.

In the beginning, you did share your knowledge with me since I started with zero. You patiently taught me everything that I needed to know to do my job, and I respected you as my mentor. You helped to navigate certain areas, which I observed and then learned. You helped set my goals and in areas where you saw that I was struggling to accomplish, you coached me until I could do it easily. I had ease of mind knowing that I was in the right path and making progress every day.

But that changed. You changed. With your don't-care attitude now, we hardly learn anything new. In fact, I felt as if my brain cells' count had shrunk due to the lack of new learning progress. My time at the office is spent on doing mindless chores and my learning curve has been somewhat flat as I face the same mundane things every day, year in year out. Career and intellect-wise, I'm dying a slow, grueling painful death.

You just dump your responsibilities on our laps, particularly mine, and then they become my responsibilities, albeit unwillingly. You start to rely too much on me, to see things through.

Proof? This morning, you called me in and said the finance needs our last year's activities report. Which you were supposed to do, like, last year? Last December? The month before this month? That month which we were (or you were) not too busy because we were were still waiting for approvals for the thing we have to do this month?

You: Oh, I didn't manage to do it. Can you come up with a report like the report you did last year?

Me: I was on marriage leave this time last year.

You: Oh, well. The one you did for the last couple of years before that?

If you were curious to know, that was when my expression changed. I was trying so hard to control my irritation.

Me (trying to make you work for what the company's paying you): I don't know whether I can do it... I have to do some urgent tasks now. Important.

You: Oh well... then in that case, can you email your appraisal report which outlined your activities last year.

Me: But that's just on my part. It does not include our assistant's and YOUR activites.

You: Hurmm.. which to me is about 90% of what WE did last year, and I will add in what our assistant's handled too in one or two line.

I wanted to raise this question - What then, did YOU do last year? If 90% of the department's activities were done by me (as you rightfully claimed), what was the less-than-10% contribution by YOU that outweighs my 90% workload? Isn't that unfair? And tell me again - who is the one getting the fat paycheque?

Boss,

The more I write, the more I am feeling upset and abused. I do not like the fact that you hardly do any work and yet you are earning more than me. I simply feel trodden upon knowing that I struggle every day carrying heavy work burdens of both yours and mine, only for you to claim my work as OUR work. Enough is enough, boss.

I do not know how long I can stand your attitude, so I hope you will come to your senses very soon and revert to your old enigmatic self. I'm increasingly losing my respect for you and feeling suffocated being under your charge. Perhaps if I fail to secure another job elsewhere, I will consider changing departments and sacrificing the line of work which I love right now, just so I can save my sanity.

I shall stop here for the moment or else I will have bad dreams again.

Your employee